At the suggestion of one of my co-workers, I've decided to dedicate a post to making up excuses and the trouble that it causes.
At a staffing agency, it's tough to hear excuses for candidates missing jobs because after awhile they get so outlandish as to seem fake and yet sometimes even the strangest prove to be true. I don't want to advise that candidates ought to choose more practical lies as excuses because obviously some people don't know where to draw the line. My best advice would be to take the time to think about why you're really missing work - it's appalling to see what people are willing to compromise for a few hours off work. In most cases, these excuses will permanently damages one's reputation; it's naive to think that HR managers haven't encountered false excuses before and don't know how to detect the real ones from the fantastically fake ones. After awhile, anyone can become callous or cynical towards excuses (see: The Boy Who Cried Wolf) and it's best not to test a manager's patience on these matters.
The same co-worker, who suggested this topic and has been with Midtown for quite sometime now, has made a Book of Excuses listing some of the worst he's encountered. Here's a sample with personal credibility ratings :
My pet cockatoo fell off its perch and hurt its wing. The only vet that handles birds is only open 9-5. Credibility Rating: Fake Comments:I've never heard of a caged bird falling off a perch (don't they just stand on it all day?). How could the excusee know that this had happened?
The electricity in my house went out and I can't blow dry my hair. Credibility Rating: Feasible Comments: Sure that happened, but you couldn't get to work? Seriously?
I was about to leave my apartment when I found my handbag was full of ants. I was late because I had to kill them all. Credibility Rating: Somewhat feasible, mostly fake Comments: So, then you get another bag or just admit that you slept in.
I had really bad constipation so I couldn't go to work. Credibility rating: Fake Comments: Missing work for that? In this day and age? Terrible.
I could go on...and on. Some of the common trends were of course death in the family, pet had babies, and food poisoning. I'm not calling any of these outright lies, they're just used to excess. I just want to let candidates know that we know.
