I thought that some of these were very amusing. I'm not sure which are real and which aren't; draw your own conclusions.
"I got hit with a wallop of cramps"
"I have a few calls to make; I won't be in until 11:00"
"My brother in law is having his leg amputated"
"I was at crew practice and I got splashed and it was so cold, I got like totally frozen. I'm blue. I need to stay in the shower for the next few hours, so....I'll be late"
"I cannot go to work because the escalator at the metro is too long. I have a fear of escalators and just thinking about it has given me a major migraine"
"I'm leaving early because I got a haircut over the weekend. I always get sick when I get a haircut and this time is gave me the flu"
"My hair-weave isn't holding together, I can't go to work"
"I couldn't go to work because I poked myself with my Christmas tree in the eye - I am not allowed to operate a computer"
"I have a major yeast infection - Have to let it air out"
"There's too much snow and I don't have a shovel"
"I can't work today." "Why not?" "I have other plans"
"Can't go to work because my eyes are twitching"
"I have to cancel my job because a virus got on my computer last night and I need to stay home and get rid of it"
" I left with at 2:00 for a late lunch hour. I had to run some errands so I grabbed a hot dog froma vendor and jumped on the metro train. The metro police busted me for eating on the train and because I didn't have any ID with me, they took me downtown and kept me overnight. I only had one phone call, so I calledthe job, but my boss was in a meeting, so I left a message. They let me go the next day at 3:00 so I had to miss work. They gave me a $50 fine and a lecture about eating on the train and carrying ID"
"My watch stopped - I thought it was 8:00 AM but it's actually 9:30 - I'll be late."
"I had a bad case of fibroids"
"I'm waiting for the paint to dry before I leave the house so I'll be late"
"I'm an exotic dancer at night and last night while dancing I feel and fractured my butt. I can't sit down for a couple weeks, so I can't work."
"I got stung by a bee and it swelled up over night and my foot is no longer a foot, it's a club! I'm going to the doctor"
Some Relevant Links:
Late for Work Excuses: The Good, the Bad, the Idiotic
1 in 4 Workers Admit to Making Fake Excuses for Arriving Late to Work
